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| 25 Ways To Be More Polite |
12. Make Small Talk
Okay, I admit it. I hate small talk, it is typically awkward, a sign that you are probably not that keen on the person in front of you, and it can get repetitive very quickly... However, as much as it's a nuisance, it is an absolute must for being polite, particularly to those we don't know all that well. If like me, you struggle to ever know what to say, try asking open-ended questions. "How are you?" "Fine." "You're -----'s sister, aren't you?" "Yes." Well, that was a quick conversation... Instead of going for the questions that can be one-word answers, or even answered in one sentence, pick a topic for discussion. What holidays they have planned, how their family are doing, work even - all of these will hopefully spark up enough conversation to keep the two of you talking for a fair amount of time. People love to talk about themselves, so prompting someone to do just that should get them nattering away in no time at all! Listen well, put that mobile phone away, and be enthusiastic - who knows, you may just make a new friend!
11. Have Good Manners
"Please" and "Thank You" go a lot further than just impressing your dear old uncle when you were three years old and really wanted a biscuit. Good manners are just as useful, if not more so in adulthood too! Although I would say having good manners is a given, you would be surprised how many people don't really use them in their entirety. Sure, "Please" and "Thank You" is a start, but under the bracket of manners also comes looking people in the eye when you speak to them, apologising when you are in the wrong, smiling and having positive attitude, among many other tedious, and lesser known techniques that if you aren't part of the monarchy, you would not have the faintest clue about unless researching about it like I have done. If you are missing out on your 'P's and Q's', try some other alternatives listed above.
10. Don’t Ask Too Much Of Others
We have all been in a situation where a friend, family member, colleague or even a higher-up has asked too much of you, and how does it feel? Rubbish. You feel taken advantage of, unappreciated, insignificant, the list goes on. Of course we need a bit of help sometimes, and that is okay! However there are some people out there who just take, take and take, and rarely give a thing back. The easiest way to avoid this situation is to reverse the roles, if someone only seems to reach out when they want something - do the same back. I think one of the biggest lessons I've learned this year is not to waste time, energy and space on someone who would not do the same for you, so don't be that person. Reach out if you need help, but don't ask of others what you would not do for them, not only is it impolite, but it can also leave that person feeling like they have no other option but to help you out even if that means putting their needs to one side.
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| 10 Habits Of Polite People |
9. Offer Help When Needed
In relation to the last point, offering help to a friend in trouble if you are able to is a really nice thing to do, especially for folk like me (guilty as charged) who really don't like asking for help or to 'bother' people with our problems. It's always the ones who never ask for help who need it the most, so if in your opinion someone seems to be struggling, even if they don't admit it - lend a hand and see what their response is. Don't leave them to suffer in silence, they will absolutely appreciate your time, effort, and the thought that you were thinking of them and actually wanted to help without being asked! Next time around, they may be the ones to offer you support when you need it!
8. Have A Genuine Desire To Improve Others’ Lives
Being completely honest here. We need one another to better ourselves. The successes, conflicts, general highs and lows we have with our nearest and dearest teach us so very much, they mould our relationships and shape our choices until the day we die. Having genuine compassion for another person is one of the most beautiful things life has to give and there is so much you can do for another being just by having that compassion intact. It's hard to fake caring about someone, and as much as someone might say they do a good job at pretending, the other person will easily figure it out, just as I have done in years gone by. Promises of a meet-up that never take place, that one friend who always tells you to grow up when something has really upset you, and others who are not honest with you, even when you ask them to be. There is nothing I value more than someone who values me, everyone deserves a person like that.
7. Don’t Be Afraid To Compliment Someone!
If you like someone's shoes, say so! If your sister has changed her hair, point it out (nicely, of course!) I have always been shy about complimenting people, perhaps as a woman I have the advantage of not feeling so awkward about complimenting others, but as many women would agree, I just can't take compliments for the life of me - oh what a strange species we are. Just the other week, I saw a group of teenage girls come into my place of work, they were all very chatty and clearly good friends, one of them had the cutest frog hat, I really did love it. I approached the group, smiled at her to get her attention and told her how cute I thought it was, she politely said thank you and continued to talk to me as if that is the only compliment she had had for months, and for all I know, it could have well been! Although compliments for me are few and far between, I know just how much I appreciate them when they do come around and I often wonder just how much one nice thing can shape someone's mood that day. I will definitely be complimenting more where I can, and urge you all to try it too!
6. Be Confident, But Humble
Being confident is attractive, but so is being humble. It's a fine balance that many of us get wrong, but can contribute a fair bit to how someone sees you. I personally much prefer to spend my time with someone who lacks self-esteem and needs a little more support than someone who is overly confident and likes to brag. Opinions may differ wildly on this, though the general rule of thumb is to be confident, but considerate to those around you. Don't tell your best friend that you're doing a fantastic job when they are clearly struggling, definitely don't be that person that always wants to out-class everyone else either, "You went to Timbuktu with your family for a getaway? Well I went to 'Timbukthree', and single-handedly took down a shark that was trying to bite my leg off!" Urgh.
5. Don’t Take More Than You Need (Physically and Figuratively!)
Most of us were taught from a young age to share, and there's a good reason behind that. Not only is it impolite to be greedy, but it can end up being detrimental to others as well. Sometimes making the decision to share is an act of kindness that can change someone's life, particular where money or other necessities are involved. If you want to go one step further, why not use some of your wages to help a good cause, donate some extra food to local food banks or sign up for a charity marathon if you have more free time than usual. These are some real-world examples of situations where money, resources and time is lacking, so why not use some of your own to help!
4. Avoid Being Condescending To Others
Eek! We all know someone that comes to mind when we see the word 'condescending', and sometimes I fear that might be me... Thankfully with research I've mustered up a few very easy ways to spot this behaviour and how to go about it. Listening is a biggie. Do you tend to talk over people or interrupt? Even without meaning to, you may come across as condescending or disinterested in what the other person is saying which is a huge social no-no. You want to encourage your peers to feel comfortable to open up, even if it's not anything of particular relevance or excitement to you, being a good person definitely begins with listening and understanding how others feel and how your actions may impact them. Another point I am guilty of is not asking if my advice is wanted before giving it, I don't feel it is self-righteous act per-se, but when those select few really want to help their friends, giving advice is not always the answer. Forcing an opinion where it isn't needed can make an upsetting time even more uncomfortable when everyone feels your unwanted opinions crashing down on them... Awkward!
3. Revise Your Table Manners
As old-fashioned as it may seem, table manners do have real world use outside of the comfort of your own home. Whether it's having a quick coffee with your new boss or heading to a venue with some high-class celebrity figures, there is definitely a need for courtesy at the table. Rule Number One is easily not to have any electronic devices visible. Phones and tablets are my absolute pet-peeve when out and about, which I always keep out of sight. My partner and I have a strict no-phone rule when out for a meal, if a notification comes through, we look at the phone and if it isn't urgent, we put it away again. It's done wonders for our typically-dull conversations and allows us to live in the moment!
Here's one for the nervous first-daters out there. It is advised not to touch your hair during a meal, not only is it unhygienic for you, but it isn't always a pretty sight for the other person either. Finding a few loose hairs in my stir fry is enough to send anyone home with a bad feeling about the day. If you really need to fix your hair, pop in to a bathroom instead!
2. Love Unconditionally
Loving someone through anything and everything, isn't it a beautiful thing? It doesn't just have to be romantically either, I'm sure the first person that comes to mind when we think about unconditional love is within our family, close friends and pets. Love is free, and much like kindness adds a little extra something to the world that without it, everything would be rather sad and dreary. You could say love in general is a mutual feeling between two people, but unconditional love is a little different... It's less about what someone does for you, and more about what you can do for others with no real want or need for anything in return. Another interpretation of unconditional love is a complete acceptance for who someone is, for all of their flaws, weaknesses, and the bits that drive you crazy - there is nothing better than sharing such feelings with the world, and we definitely need more of it.
1. Think Of Others Before Yourself
You will never go wrong by thinking of others, this doesn't mean prioritising them above your own needs, but just taking their thoughts and feelings into account before acting upon them. Lying for example; although we are told not to lie, it is my belief that as long as the lie is not to benefit only yourself, it is actually much kinder to do so to make others feel better and you can always revisit this at a later date if necessary when the truth wouldn't hurt as badly. Taking interest in the interests of others is something not many of us can confidently say we participate in, or at least genuinely. As much as historical events don't interest me much, if I see someone is as passionate about it as I am for writing, I want to take an interest too! Being compassionate or empathetic will get you far in society. As traits that are valued highly but are slowly dying out, you may be one of a few hidden gems that can really make a difference!
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