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Emily's Note For Readers:
If you are feeling overly depressed, anxious or suicidal to the point it is affecting your daily life and your thoughts - please contact a helpline straight away. If you don't know where to turn, there are plenty of sources online which can direct you to the correct sites or contacts you may need. Don't suffer in silence.
I recommend UK based site HOPELINEUK (Papyrus UK), a suicide prevention charity.
Link to the site is here: https://papyrus-uk.org/hopelineuk/
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Losing yourself may differ from person to person, so I'll try and cover as many different possible ways someone may feel they have changed as I can, ranging from relationships to personality traits. The obvious one, and something most, if not all of the population has been through is issues with confidence, losing confidence can often contribute to losing yourself, as it makes up so much of who we are. Having been through this myself, I found that browsing the internet for a nice variety of information or advice on how to build my confidence back up again was really helpful. As simple as it may seem, there are plenty of different tips on each site which can really help you out in different ways, depending on what your comfort zone is, and how far you are willing to push yourself to get the results. My best advice would be to focus on what part of your confidence is missing, have you been negatively impacted by someone else's reaction to you? Have you, yourself convinced yourself that you're not as good as you used to be? Whatever the impact may be, there are all kinds of treatments out there due to how common an issue it actually is. Identifying the problem is the crucial first step though, I would definitely take a few moments to work out where it all went wrong so finding an answer will be easier for you. It is a relatively easy problem to cure, so stick with it.
Feeling like you have lost passion for things you used to enjoy is something that comes with severe stress or huge changes, such as moving house, or welcoming a new child into a family. Yet again, it is a common occurrence, though not as common as having confidence issues. It is more difficult to pinpoint the exact reason why you have gone through this feeling of lost passion, and even harder to find things that you still do have passion for. In some cases, there are some people who feel that the spark in their relationship has gone, despite being together for quite some time. These sorts of thoughts are usually expected with the onset of stress and change, and it isn't really anything to worry about as long as communication is there, so that everyone involved is on the same page and can help work through the problem, though don't involve other people who shouldn't be, the last thing you need is others blowing things out of proportion and emphasising the problem even more. Without communication, it may lead to doubts in your other half, such as if they are faithful, or lying to you,
the paranoia is something we need to avoid. It can be the worse feeling in the world thinking you've lost who you once were and what you used to have, but in reality most of the person you are still lives within you, it's a matter of finding it, and reliving what you can. If it helps, start scheduling in things you wouldn't usually do, exercise classes, meals with friends or going out on certain days a week are certain to liven you up, but don't pressure yourself into it, do what you want to do with the right amount of regularity.
Some people would rather start a fresh on their lives, due to it being unsuccessful in many aspects, or wishing to leave the past behind. This is wholly possible, the change starts with yourself. Many of those who do want this are considered to be lonely, either lacking in social stimulation or not having a companion to share their problems with. So my first bit of advice would be to try and surround yourself with people, talk about your worries, people do genuinely care and will listen to you. Starting fresh doesn't mean moving out of the country and changing your name, but rather building a new you over the one that has been left behind. So open your social circle, try leisure activities to spice up your weekly timetable, or even fall in love, what the future holds is exciting, don't let opportunities pass you by. Gaining the courage or the confidence to move on may be hard, but the results will be more than worth it. Take job hunting for example, you may be in a situation where your past occupation has made you want to stop that career and move on, so do so. What's the worst that can happen? It'll only be so long before you find yourself in another line of work with a better state of mind, and ready to start again. Challenging yourself is healthy, aim for a better job, a healthier lifestyle, a certain amount of savings - whatever drives you, use it.
Losing self respect is something many of us have done, but it is hard to spot, so if you have, that is a leap in the right direction already. Some of you may not quite understand what losing self respect is. I don't mean totally flying off the rails, failing in hygiene, or getting in trouble with authorities, but allowing yourself to be disrespected, or taken advantage of multiple times. You don't deserve to be abused, nor to be a doormat to people who constantly take your kindness for granted. Don't resort to being bitter on the opposite end of the spectrum either, just maintain a healthy balance. Only you will know how you feel, when enough is enough, let go. It is often hard to see when enough is enough, particularly if you are being taken advantage of by someone in a position of power, such as a manager, member of an organisation or a parent. But partners and close friends are often culprits of this treatment too.
Surround yourself with positive people, no matter what you're struggling with there are always avenues you can take to make yourself feel a better, more positive you! You can do this!
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| Get Your Mojo Back! |
Feeling like you have lost passion for things you used to enjoy is something that comes with severe stress or huge changes, such as moving house, or welcoming a new child into a family. Yet again, it is a common occurrence, though not as common as having confidence issues. It is more difficult to pinpoint the exact reason why you have gone through this feeling of lost passion, and even harder to find things that you still do have passion for. In some cases, there are some people who feel that the spark in their relationship has gone, despite being together for quite some time. These sorts of thoughts are usually expected with the onset of stress and change, and it isn't really anything to worry about as long as communication is there, so that everyone involved is on the same page and can help work through the problem, though don't involve other people who shouldn't be, the last thing you need is others blowing things out of proportion and emphasising the problem even more. Without communication, it may lead to doubts in your other half, such as if they are faithful, or lying to you,
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| Revive Your Lost Passion |
Some people would rather start a fresh on their lives, due to it being unsuccessful in many aspects, or wishing to leave the past behind. This is wholly possible, the change starts with yourself. Many of those who do want this are considered to be lonely, either lacking in social stimulation or not having a companion to share their problems with. So my first bit of advice would be to try and surround yourself with people, talk about your worries, people do genuinely care and will listen to you. Starting fresh doesn't mean moving out of the country and changing your name, but rather building a new you over the one that has been left behind. So open your social circle, try leisure activities to spice up your weekly timetable, or even fall in love, what the future holds is exciting, don't let opportunities pass you by. Gaining the courage or the confidence to move on may be hard, but the results will be more than worth it. Take job hunting for example, you may be in a situation where your past occupation has made you want to stop that career and move on, so do so. What's the worst that can happen? It'll only be so long before you find yourself in another line of work with a better state of mind, and ready to start again. Challenging yourself is healthy, aim for a better job, a healthier lifestyle, a certain amount of savings - whatever drives you, use it.
Losing self respect is something many of us have done, but it is hard to spot, so if you have, that is a leap in the right direction already. Some of you may not quite understand what losing self respect is. I don't mean totally flying off the rails, failing in hygiene, or getting in trouble with authorities, but allowing yourself to be disrespected, or taken advantage of multiple times. You don't deserve to be abused, nor to be a doormat to people who constantly take your kindness for granted. Don't resort to being bitter on the opposite end of the spectrum either, just maintain a healthy balance. Only you will know how you feel, when enough is enough, let go. It is often hard to see when enough is enough, particularly if you are being taken advantage of by someone in a position of power, such as a manager, member of an organisation or a parent. But partners and close friends are often culprits of this treatment too.
Surround yourself with positive people, no matter what you're struggling with there are always avenues you can take to make yourself feel a better, more positive you! You can do this!
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